April 30, 2016

middle-of-the-night, no-matter-what

when we were young
“Everybody has a home team: 
It’s the people you call when 
you get a flat tire or 
when something terrible happens. 
It’s the people who, 
near or far, 
know everything that’s wrong 
with you and love you anyways. 
These are the ones 
who tell you their secrets, 
who get themselves a glass of water 
without asking when they’re at your house. 
These are the people 
who cry when you cry. 
These are your people, 
your middle-of-the-night, 
no-matter-what people.” 
~Shauna Niequist

April 26, 2016

if you tell the truth

'if you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything' ~mark twain

April 22, 2016

the purple one

last night i attended the mumford and sons concert in st. paul
the purple one
the purple one

i had mixed feelings about what the evening would hold.  earlier in the day i had learned of Prince's death.  the unexpected news of his passing fell on me with this odd heaviness.  i think because i have so many memories linked to his music, it shifts my perspective? (aagh! where are my words??!!!)

couple thoughts:
   i arrived at the entrance doors soaking wet! an early evening down-pour doused me while i made my way from the parking lot to the concert.  the song purple rain ran through my head. inside i chuckled!

   mumford and sons provided the crowd with a collective song tribute to Prince and followed up with covering the song 'Nothing Compares 2 U'... i appreciated their effort, but the lyrics speak loud and clear...nothing compares 2 u! 

thank you, purple one, you will be missed!

April 21, 2016

the balance of life

balance of harmony

how we spend our days
is, of course,
how we spend our lives.
~annie dillard

March 18, 2016

the pedestrian life

chasm of truth
“I have always, 
been waiting. 
Waiting to become something else, 
waiting to be that person 
I always thought I 
was on the verge of 
waiting for that life 
I thought I would have. 
In my head, 
I was always one step away. 
In high school, 
I was biding my time until I could become 
the college version of myself, 
the one my mind could see so clearly. 
In college, the post-college “adult” person was always looming in front of me, 
smarter, stronger,more organized. 

Then the married person, 
then the person I’d become when we have kids. 
For twenty years, 
I have waited to become the thin version of myself, 
because that’s when life 
will really begin.
And through all that waiting, 
here I am. 
My life is passing, 
day by day, and I am waiting for it to start. 
I am waiting for that time, 
that person, 
that event when my life will finally begin.
I love movies about “The Big Moment” – 
the game or the performance or the wedding day or the record deal, 
the stories that split time with that key event, 
and everything is reframed, 
before it and after it, because it has changed everything. 

I have always wanted this movie-worthy event, 
something that will change everything and 
grab me out of this waiting game 
into the whirlwind in front of me. 
I cry and cry at these movies, 
because I am still waiting for my own big moment. 

I had visions of life as an adventure, 
a thing to be celebrated and experienced, 
but all I was doing was going to work and coming home, 
and that wasn’t what it looked like in the movies.
John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” 
For me, 
life is what was happening while 
I was busy waiting for my big moment. 
I was ready for it and believed that 
the rest of my life would fade into the background, 
and that my big moment would 
carry me through life like a lifeboat.
The Big Moment, unfortunately, 
is an urban myth. 
Some people have them, in a sense,
 when they win the Heisman or 
become the next American Idol. 
But even that football player or 
that singer is living a life made up of more 
than that one moment.

Life is a collection of a million, 
billion moments, 
tiny little moments and choices, 
like a handful of luminous, 
glowing pearl.
 It takes so much time, and so much work, 
and those beads and 
moments are so small, 
and so much less fabulous
 and dramatic than the movies.

But this is what I’m finding, 
in glimpses and flashes: this is it. 
This is it, in the best possible way. 
That thing I’m waiting for, 
that adventure, 
that move-score-worthy 
experience unfolding gracefully. 

This is it. 
Normal, daily life ticking by on our streets and sidewalks,
 in our houses and apartments,
 in our beds and at our dinner tables, 
in our dreams and prayers and fights and secrets – 
this pedestrian life is 
the most 
thing any of us
will ever 

 ~ Shauna Niequiest (Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life)

March 12, 2016

a greater understanding

mysteries of happiness
“If love is blind, then maybe a blind person that loves has a greater understanding of it.”  ~Criss Jami

March 11, 2016

to injure or bless

gone to seed
"plant a seed.
watch it grow.
it will go so much farther
than you'll ever know.
and whether that seed
be action or word
whether harsh or kind
its power will be heard.
and whether its fruit
will bring joy or distress
you are the one
who will injure or bless."

March 7, 2016

starving fear

sin miedos
"feed your fears and your faith will starve. feed your faith, and your fears will." ~max lucado

March 4, 2016

oh crap! she's up!

as i imagine me
 i always wanted to be the kind of woman
that when i wake each morning
and my feet hit the floor,
the devil says
'oh, crap! she's up!!!!' 

February 15, 2016

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